I was so excited that Experience Life chose to share my story. I will not lie. When I read the story it made me feel weird..like I was way too honest. I know that sounds crazy but it’s hard sometimes to be vulnerable. I talked about the one time someone was ashamed to go to a school dance with me. When I read it back I honestly cared what people thought. I never wanted anyone to feel like I was some sad puppy because that totally wasn’t the case..but does it really matter what they think? I told my story for the girl/boy that is in high school right now that just got their feelings hurt. You never really forget when someone made you feel disrespected..but it’s okay..remember it. I love the memory now. He has drooled the few times he has seen me after high school..and it brought me joy. Call me petty..I’m just being honest. Eat your heart out!
I also talked about the time I stopped experiencing life. I was stuck on robot mode for a while. I don’t remember much about that time except eating the same thing for every meal every day. I would get on the scale at least three times a day. I became really self conscious about my body. I remember my mom telling me to stop and getting annoyed thinking she was dramatic. It was me..I totally had a problem and didn’t know it. She just missed the old Tonnisha..the one that wasn’t a nut job! I had forgotten how to have fun..everything was determined by if I felt comfortable in my skin at the moment..majority of the time I didn’t. It literally took surviving a car accident to wake me up. It’s like God had to literally shake me and say snap out of it! From that day on I picked up a “who cares” mentality. I’m not perfect…who cares. Who cares if I hate my arms?..I’m about to sling these things all around as I dance with my friends. I had forgotten how to dance (not literally your girl can get down! Haha)..smile..hold my head high (probably because I was always looking down at the scale weighing myself) and just live period! I don’t want that for you.
I encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle…keyword LIVE. Don’t get so caught up in trying to lose weight that you lose yourself. I know you have goals and you can and will totally accomplish them but don’t forget to be nice to yourself. Don’t tear yourself down if you gain a pound or if you aren’t pleased by the way you look physically at the moment. Remember that we’re on a journey..think literally..when you’re traveling somewhere is it always easy? Heck no! Your flights get delayed and tires go flat..but just go with it. You don’t want to be the person yelling at people in the airport because your flight is delayed like they can do something about it. Don’t take it out on yourself or others. Calm down. You will get there. Experience Life my friends! Dance! Sling those arms!